literature

Three Fortune Cookies

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Literature Text

First Chapter

As I walk in the forest, I find an old glass jar covered with dust. The lid is rusty and corroded by the elements.  I rub the dust off with my arm and find what appears to be three fortune cookies inside. "Open me" is engraved on each cookie.

    Surprisingly it twists easily. Images pops out of the jar, one of an elder man whispering "Do not proceed". Another one with a young girl saying,"Be wise of which one you open. One leads you to your fantasies, another to a mystery." Everything sounds so enticing to me. After a few minutes, the images went away. I put my hand into the jar, grabbing the three cookies. 

     They were of three different colors. One magenta, another cyan, and the third yellow. The conflict is too great for me, so I just close my eyes and broke one. As I open them, expecting something great to happen, nothing does. Just a little piece of paper lying there. I am a little disappointed considering what happened so far. I pick up the paper and it read "good luck".

   Well, I have the magenta and cyan cookies left to open. So, I crack open the cyan one and water starts to flow out of the cookie. I hold it up high and it flows like a waterfall, gracefully and magically. After a minute, the water reduces to a trickle and a message flows into my hand. It reads "Combine in the end".  Now I open the magenta cookie. A flame shot out, singeing my arms. "So, magenta is fire and cyan is water. So what is yellow then?" I think. I feel a gust of air on my back. I turn around and finding the yellow cookie on the ground. "That's it!" I shout. I have to combine air, water, and fire to start my life's journey.
First Chapter
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Comments1
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0hgravity's avatar
Interesting concept starting off here but it looks pretty skeletal so far.

some things to think about...
"the forest" - where is this forest? I think there needs to be a little context here.
as a first chapter there is not much about the character and how he/she (don't even know the gender of the character) came to find this jar. was the character having a boring day and decided to explore? does the character usually wander about the forest? was the character travelling or was just passing through? does the character actually live in the forest?
was the character kind of lost and needing a journey?

the revelation is a bit rushed as well. I believe that the protagonist could figure out that the yellow is air and even perhaps that one must combine them but it is unclear how he/she would come to the conclusion that combining them would start his/her life journey. I could see he/she coming to the conclusion that combining them would grant him/her a wish (one leads to your fantasies) or some great secret about the world or universe or maybe just an answer to a question he/she is struggling with (another to a mystery). All those things would ultimately lead to a life journey but I don't think people normally are aware the mission to find these things is one's life journey.

some grammatical stuff:
you switch tense several times - either you are in the present or the past. because you start off in the present I will make the following suggestions:
"after a few minutes, the images went away" --> the images go away
"they were of three different colors" --> they are of three different colors
"so I just close my eyes and broke one" --> and break one
"and it read 'good luck'" --> and it reads
"a flame shot out" --> a flame shoots out
"I turn around and finding the yellow cookie" --> I turn around and find the yellow cookie


I hope this is all helpful to you. Perhaps you have already considered all this and this is more like a prologue than a first chapter? I hope I'm not preaching to the choir here as far as content goes.